There are several things I have read in the last week or so that are very interesting, and worth spending a few minutes of your internet life reading. I promise. You know I rarely do link recommendations and when I do it’s because it really means something to me.
I am proud to be a housewife and stay-at-home-mom. I don’t know where my college degree is…maybe a file cabinet somewhere? Even in the worst moments, with screaming kids, stacks of dishes, and all the rest, I would still rather be here doing what I am doing then out there in the gainfully employed world.
It works for me and for Papa-Bug. Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom isn’t for everyone and I am so grateful we get to make our choices. But there is so much backlash because I’m not “contributing”. No paycheck, less money to spend…man, I’m messing up the economy with my SAHM economizing ways! No job, no title or promotion…man, I must be spitting in the face of all those feminists who fought so hard to get out of the kitchen!
Sorry. I’ll stop ranting now. I’ll start directing you to some more eloquent words.
First, this post about asking questions: Save Your Relationships: Ask The Right Questions (Momastry) The whole post is quite thought provoking, but what really shines is where Glennon Melton sums up the day of any Mom, especially a SAHM.
This question was like a spotlight pointed directly at the chasm between his experience of a “DAY” and my experience of a “DAY.” How was my day?
The question would linger in the air for a moment while I stared at Craig and the baby shoved her hand in my mouth like they do – while the oldest screamed MOMMY I NEED HELP POOING from the bathroom and the middle one cried in the corner because I NEVER EVER EVER let her drink the dishwasher detergent. NOT EVER EVEN ONCE, MOMMY!!! And I’d look down at my spaghetti stained pajama top, unwashed hair, and gorgeous baby on my hip – and my eyes would wander around the room, pausing to notice the toys peppering the floor and the kids’ stunning new art on the fridge . . .
And I’d want to say:
How was my day? Today has been a lifetime. It was the best of times and the worst of times. There were moments when my heart was so full I thought I might explode, and there were other moments when my senses were under such intense assault that I was CERTAIN I’d explode. I was both lonely and absolutely desperate to be alone. I was saturated- just BOMBARDED with touch and then the second I put down this baby I yearned to smell her sweet skin again. I was simultaneously bored out of my skull and completely overwhelmed with so much to do. Today was too much and not enough. It was loud and silent. It was brutal and beautiful. I was at my very best today and then, just a moment later, at my very worst. At 3:30 today I decided that we should adopt four more children, and then at 3:35 I decided that we should give up the kids we already have for adoption. Husband – when your day is completely and totally dependent upon the moods and needs and schedules of tiny, messy, beautiful rug rats your day is ALL OF THE THINGS and NONE OF THE THINGS, sometimes within the same three minute period. But I’m not complaining. This is not a complaint, so don’t try to FIX IT. I wouldn’t have my day Any.Other.Way. I’m just saying- it’s a hell of a hard thing to explain- an entire day with lots of babies.
I tried to read that bit out loud to the Papa-Bug without crying and failed at that.
I love this brief post, 8 Misconceptions About Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom.
And then, in beautiful syncronicity, Salary.com released their estimate of how much a SAHM would make on a salary. You can go to their site and put in your hours and see how much your hard work as a mother is worth financially.
Finally, there has been a frustrating article from Amy Glass (apparently a “feminist blogger”) which has sparked a lot of anger and discusstion. The title of her letter was “I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands and Kids and I’m Not Sorry”. I am not linking her article. I couldn’t even read past the 2nd paragraph. What I am linking is the amazingly elqouent and passionate response from Sarah at Nurshable:
All said, it is a lot of interesting reading and I thought it deserved a moment of attention. Which is your favorite piece?