Sometimes I am surprised at how fast I can get angry and yelling at the kids. I know that it's not good. I hate it when it happens. I even recognize my triggers. And still.
Crying, guilt, more yelling.
I don't like it. At all.
I discoverd The Orange Rhino. A mother blogging her expereince in Not Yelling. A challenge to Not Yell for 365 days.
So I'm giving it a shot. There is an orange ribbon around my wrist as a beginnng – a simple reminder that I don't want to yell. I'm not sure where this will lead me, or what form my own challenge will take.
I've been wearing my ribbon for about a week. It's been better; I'm yelling less and often not at all.
I've noticed that even when I don't yell, I often resort to eye-rolling and sarcasm. This is just as hurtful as yelling…and then I get frusterated at Brother-Bug for doing the same thing. Gee, I wonder where he learned that?
I told the kids what the ribbon means, and that they can help me by just saying “Orange Rhino” when yelling erupts. I've noticed Brother-Bug trying not to yell and gently telling Sister-Bug that “orange rhinos don't yell” when she explodes into a three-year old fury. So this seems to be a good path.
This week, my steps for myself (beyond awareness of the ribbon) is to try the 3-5 day adjustment suggested in this article.
I'm particularly interested in the first step:
Day 1.Enthusiastically acknowledge everything you do right. Be your own cheerleader. Ignore the times you miss your goal, except to offer encouragement.
Why are we starting with you? Because you can only give your child what you have inside. Fill your own cup first! And, of course, continue this practice on Day 2, as you focus more on your child.
Because I think that a lot of my frustration isn't with the kids. They are just kids (read this recent Orange Rhino post on that…) and I am frustrated that I can't do it all. That some days just feel like one half-completed attempt follwed by failures. Every parent knows that feeling.
I'm rambling now, so I'll stop and try to refine my thoughts and process. But that's what I am up to this week…
Is anyone else out there an Orange Rhino? How is it working for you?