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Book Review: The Mother Dance

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I’m going through a reading kick that involves lots of parenting books. My parenting style feels like it has been falling apart or re-inventing itself. I have several books I am going to write about here, but we will start with the first one that came on on reserve from the library.

The Mother Dance

By Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

This book was interesting. A little toward the self-help side of things for my taste. But definitely thoughtful and well put-together. I would give this one three out of five stars.

I loved this quote from the book:

“To opt for kids is to opt for chaos, complexity, turbulence, and truth. Kids will make you love them in a way you never thought possible. The will also confront you with all the painful and unsavory emotions that humans put so much energy into trying to avoid. Children will teach you about yourself and about what it’s like not to be up to the demands of the most important responsibility you’ll ever have. They’ll teach you that you are capable of deep compassion, and also that you are definitely no the nice, calm, competent, clear-thinking, highly evolved person you fancied yourself to be before you became a mother.” 

That was right at the end. It sums up so much truth of parenting – be you mother of father.

To be honest, I finished this book about a month ago and so am missing some of the details. It is back at the library, so I can’t look back for a refresher. But it was a good book, and worth my reading time. It was certainly (as the Library Reserve Faerys seemed to know) a good place to start on my current parenting reading quest.


I just love library reserve programs! I get the books I want without having to drag my tired and loud children into the adult floors of the library. What a blessing!


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